Second Chances
by Koreemenei
Summary: It had been almost a year since Emily Cousland left Ferelden and all she knew behind. Her heart was broken, by the one person she thought never would hurt her. Could a chance reunion, heal old wounds and reunite a love she thought was lost. Currently in rewrite Rewritten Prologue - Chapter 4 are now up
1. Prologue

Second Chances

 **Prologue ***

Author's note: I do not own Dragon Age, as Bioware/EA do. I do however own my character

(Present day)

The past year, Emily Cousland had gone through every emotion possible. From the massacre of her family and all that she knew at Highever, leading an unlikely army against and winning the Blight, to surprisingly falling in love along the way .Only to have her heart broken by the silence of the man who swore to never hurt her as he permitted another to tear them apart..She remembered the last words her parents spoke "to live and make her mark", Emily achieved the making her mark by slaying the Archdemon and lived. Since the life she imagined having with Alistair in Ferelden was no longer an option. She decided to start over in Kirkwall, which was an ocean away from it. Now, Emily was entering her nineteenth year in a few days and about a month would be embarking on a new chapter in her life, one since becoming a Grey Warden was told not possible.

 _The nightmares filled with darkspawn and the events of Highever no longer consumed her sleep as they once did. Now she kept having a recurring dream of a secret meeting she overheard where others were deciding her fate without any say or consideration from Emily herself. The Cousland scion's thoughts seemed to connect with her dreams. She wondered if she hadn't uncloaked and spoke on her own behalf would they've told her that night in person or by messenger. Most likely, Eamon was waiting to tell her fate once Alistair was made King and then she would truly have no choice without defying the king which would mean imprisonment or death. What Eamon failed to realize that her parents made sure she was skilled in the political game as well if not better than he. They did after all hire the best rogue trainers from across Thedas that taught her more than poisons and weaponry, finding a match wasn't the only reason she was spent summers in Antiva. Eamon hardly allowed them a moment alone once they arrived back in Redcliffe from acquiring the elves. Something was off, as a future together all of sudden was a subject Alistair was avoiding. She made the mistake of not following her intuitions before and it cost her everything she held dear including her parents and her young nephew she adored, Emily needed to know whether his new life included her on not. She patted her devoted mabari on the head and told him to stay until her return. Emily decided to cloak so not to alert the Arl's servants and headed from the room._

She was awoken suddenly by Draco and his brother Kalen jumping on her bed at her cousin's estate in Kirkwall. Emily welcomed the wake-up call by the mabaris as the dream brought back bad memories from a time she greatly wanted to forget.


	2. Chapter 1 Part 1

Chapter 1

Flashback (7 months ago)

Unfortunately her dreams now seemed to plague her thoughts .The Landsmeet and final battle were imminent; it seemed all their companions had plans for what they would do if they survived. Some were returning to former lands or starting adventures of their own in or out of Ferelden. Alistair was accepting his birthright and the duty that came along with it. During their journey they hardly spent more than a week apart. Emily's upbringing taught her that marriage was typically the next step, especially since the past six months of their relationship they're intimate with one another. It took Alistair asking several times before she agreed, as she was a devout Andrastian before becoming a warden. She'd already broken many vows but being abstinent was hoping to honor. Emily even accepted that being married to Alistair meant if he was chosen king, she would've become queen. It's not that coruling scared her, she was to become Teryna. Her father had been grooming her to take over the terynship for several years with her brother's blessing. Fergus was content with managing the Highever troops than mountains of paperwork and governing. Emily remembered Cailan making Duncan promise in writing that if she survived, her duty to the wardens was done, and she would be formally made Teryna. Emily was cautious to up marriage or the future as when she did a few months ago he snapped at her. She took it as maybe he was scared if one or both didn't survive, but since arriving back at Redcliffe, Eamon seemed to consume most of his time with preparations, and when she did see him he barely spoke to her.

The Landsmeet was less than a week away, and the darkspawn battle was drawing nearer. For some reason she no longer heard the song, but the darkspawn dreams were more frequent. Since Highever, Em seemed to scrutinize over every detail, especially when something seemed amiss. If she followed her instincts in Highever, she could've convinced her Father not to send Fergus and the troops until the next morning. Her family and everyone else would be alive had she just followed her gut about Howe. The young rogue realized that Eamon always mentioned Alistair solely, never mentioning Emily. She wondered if Alistair made her leader was to prepare her to take over the Wardens, and not because he was naïve at leading. If he were king his royal duties would supersede meaning his days as a Grey Warden would end once he was made king. She started to shake curling into a ball, as he had to know she was tired of killing. The last few months, she had spared just about anything and anyone that didn't attack them first. Em had even talked their way of some fights that had begun. She took herself off the task of hunting for food, as she couldn't bring herself to kill innocent animals anymore. It meant her hunting days were over as she no longer found pleasure in it. Emily got up to find a pail as it was time for her nightly nausea session. It had been happening three months straight. She just took it as another secret side effect of the joining, which she was to be kept in the dark. Draco looked up as she reentered the bedroom; Em had a vision of the Main Hall at Highever, but instead of seeing Howe talking to her father, she saw Eamon. That was it for her; she was going to find out where Alistair's plans for them and or her were. If he thought she would remain silent and allow others including him to plan her future, he obviously didn't know her at all.

She entered stealth mode, which she learned from Leliana. Emily headed to the kitchen, but no Alistair. Emily then headed to Eamon's study, there she found Alistair along with Eamon and Teegan. Alistair said that one of his first acts as king was to establish a Grey Warden post in Ferelden. To Emily's horror, Eamon suggested Amaranthine and what killed Emily most was that she would be warden commander. She prayed that Alistair would speak up and defend her, but he silently nodded to Eamon. Emily was half tempted to unsheathe her daggers and throw them at Eamon and Alistair. She was trying to remain hidden, but her rage was building. Surely Alistair didn't expect her to be warden commander and arlessa to people who possibly were Howe loyalists and want her dead. Was the whole naïve man he portrayed the past year an act? He was basically sending her to die, as if the darkspawn didn't kill her, Howe's supporters would. Then she heard Teegan's voice. He said that" it was cruel to send her to a place they know she'd hate, as basically you're demoting her politically and sending her to die. No one is sure how many loyalists Howe and Loghain had, but they'll mostly be in Amaranthine." He then said that "she won't like the fact you two, as I'm not getting involved in this, are deciding her future without any consideration for her or allowing her to be present."

Emily now considered Eamon and Alistair on the same lines as Howe and Loghain which was not good, and since the latter were not present. They were about to witness her in full rage mode and very unnobleladylike. She made her presence known making clear that she heard every word and that if they thought she would go along with their plan, they were sadly mistaken. Alistair and Eamon's mouths both dropped, while Teegan just sat back with a smile. He was going to enjoy this as he had heard about her temper, but never seen it in person."Seeing how I've being betrayed for the umpteenth time in a year and the whole naïve bastard routine was an act as his true nobility has shown through. I take it without my knowledge we broke up the moment we entered Redcliffe. If I survive the Battle, and believe me right now an Archdemon wouldn't even stand a chance with the mood I'm in, I'm out of the Wardens ,as if I didn't even have papers from Cailan and Duncan agreeing that my duty ends when the Blight does. If he gets to get out of the Wardens, so do I. Also seeing how Eamon has apparently offered Highever in some sort of vote for you, I no longer have a home to go to in Ferelden. Draco and I are leaving Ferelden the moment the Archdemon is slain, injured or not." I'm not making the same mistake I made with Duncan, and leaving Draco with you or Eamon, as you'll hold him as bait to get your way to send me to Amaranthine I now realize Duncan kept Draco to make sure I would go through the Joining. Had I known then what I know now and especially about being a female warden, I would've rather defended and died at Highever with people who truly loved me, instead of being used by people who had ulterior motives all along, and once I was no longer needed sending me to my death. "

She thanked Teegan for speaking up for her, as at least I know you care about me." After this, I'm done as I no longer have the will to fight or even hunt anymore. I know I've got to leave as soon as it's slain, as the minute he gets the crown on his head and Eamon becomes advisor they'll take me by force to Amaranthine if they have to. Its weird only reason I want to live now is for Draco, as he's the only one in my life that truly loves me. Teegan, I hate to put you in this spot, but once I leave this room, I plan on not seeing either of them again. I'll relay messages about the battle and battle only between you and Leliana or Zevran?" Alistair still had his mouth wide open and Eamon looked like he was about to speak, but she gave him a look to keep quiet. Teagan understood now how "Cousland Spitfire" got to be her nickname and it was well deserved. He looked at his brother and Alistair, who were still silent.


	3. Chapter 1 Part 2

Author's note: I do not own Dragon Age, as EA/ Bioware does. I do however own Emily, as she is my creation in-game and in this and future stories

Chapter 1 Part 2 (Flashback continues) 7 months ago

Emily ran from the study as she knew staying at Eamon's, especially the room she shared with Alistair was out of the question. She and Draco would stay at Bella's inn until morning .She packed all her belongings in her pack, except the now golden rose and her warden amulet. They had the rose preserved back in Orzammarr as it was special for her. Now, she just wanted to forget it as it reminded her of the man who just broke her heart. Em woke up Draco while putting on her cloak .She decided to go through the secret passage as that would lead her to the village, so no one would see her leave. Leliana was worried for Em, as she noticed the change between the two wardens since returning to Redcliffe. The commotion she heard from Eamon's study confirmed her fears when she heard Emily say she wished she'd died at Highever. All of a sudden, Leliana saw Draco running to the dungeon passage. She ran to catch up as Draco wouldn't run off without Em; Leliana startled her fellow rogue, as Em had her daggers drawn. Emily motioned for them to enter the entrance. She told the red-headed bard what she heard and about confronting them. Emily said that Alistair had her fooled since day one, and that he stayed quiet the entire time. Her mabari stood watch allowing his mistress and the bard to talk. Em told Leliana that they'd be staying at Bella's tavern. Leliana detested Alistair at that moment seeing her friend in pain brought up memories of Marjolaine using and betraying her. The bard no longer could stay as if she did Alistair, Eamon, or anyone who insulted Emily in front of her wouldn't live.

She asked Emily if they'd mind if she stayed with them at the inn and in the battle, as she didn't want to be in Alistair's group. Emily said yes about staying with them, but her group was more at risk of critical injury or death. Leliana understood and accepted what maybe their fate. They expected Eamon would try to keep Alistair out of the battle, but Em was forcing him to fight as Sten would be with her. That would leave, Wynne vulnerable, as with her favoritism towards Alistair, Em wanted nothing to do with her. She told Leliana that she was to use archery only and daggers in emergency. She told her to go pack as once they left she wasn't returning. She wanted to leave for Denerim by first light. Leliana ran to her room packing as fast as she could. She entered stealth mode to meet up with Emily. Leliana saw Alistair heading to the room he once shared with Emily. She threw a trap in front of their door without him knowing while running to the exit. As the two rogues met up they heard Alistair yell ow! , as his foot met the trap. They exited the windmill before laughing as Emily realized what Leliana threw at the door. It was raining, but neither seemed to care as it felt revitalizing specially to Emily. They did pick up the pace, so not to get their arms and armor too wet. Draco loved it as he kept splashing them while jumping in the puddles. Bella saw the two soaked rogues and mabari enter the tavern. She knew things were different between the two wardens. They seemed so connected in the beginning that they spoke, acted and fought as one. As Eamon began pushing for Alistair to be king, she could tell he was driving them apart. Bella knew the arl was relentless in his goals, she made a point of saving her best room for Emily, who was the reason she owned the tavern. Em could've an option to camping or staying at Redcliffe castle if Eamon succeeding in making Em's life unbearable.

Bella gave them a key to the room, she told them she'd have food, ale, and a bath brought up. Emily took the key thanking her for her kindness. Em asked Leli if she could have a few moments to herself. The bard agreed as Emily had shown her the same courtesy after Marjolaine's death. Leliana stayed downstairs relaying what Em had told her. Bella told her she figured that Eamon was behind their breakup. Bella, like most villagers had seen Eamon being obsessed with power as he aged. It was said that he was pushing to become the royal advisor for King Cailan before the king's death. Some even questioned if Isolde had made a deal with the desire demon long before Connor's possession. He went from a caring ruler that visited the village often to staying inside the castle. It seemed that he shared many of Isolde's views about position and that she was more important than the people they were sworn to protect. Most in the village, herself included didn't believe that Isolde was the naive victim in what happened, which Arl Eamon was trying to portray her as. He tried convincing others that Emily had become paranoid of nobility and that she murdered Isolde in cold blood. Thankfully Teegan and Ser Perth knew what happened speaking in Emily's defense to where Eamon's claims were proven to be lies. Valena, one of Isolde's most loyal servants even spoke that the arlessa had been acting strange for about six months before the siege at Redcliffe .Bella and Valena had both seen Emily in the chantry after it happened. The woman was most definitely not the cold blooded murderer; the arl was depicting her as. Em was apologizing to the Maker for just about every death human and animal that was associated to her and that if it was his will for her to die so the deaths would end. Bella said it didn't shock the villagers that Isolde would cover up Connor's abilities, but it surprised them that she would sacrifice herself for her son's life. In the eleven years she was arlessa, she had only ventured to the village twice. It didn't help her reputation that she put her needs above the wellbeing of both Redcliffe and Ferelden citizens. As arlessa she had a duty to protect the village and Ferelden instead of sending them on a wild nug hunt for a relic that may or may not have existed.

Many wondered how she kept Connor's magic secret and what or who did she make a deal with in acquiring Jowan's services in keeping it hidden. Bella and Leliana agreed that the whole devoted mother was another ruse of Isolde's as her "sacrifice" was her way of avoiding punishment, as she possibly had more secrets that would come out which could cost her either her title or life. Leliana remembered after it happened, Alistair and Wynne said the cruelest things to Em, Emily and Draco snuck out of Redcliffe the next morning without anyone noticing. None of them knew if she lived until a week later when they found them camping in the Brecilian Forest. She ignored Alistair for three days. Her relationship with Wynne was already tense and they stayed away from each other from that moment on. Meanwhile, upstairs Emily finally let everything from losing her family and now Alistair out. Draco placed his paws on her knees whimpering at times with her. She patted him on the head and regained her self-control Emily knew she couldn't let her father down as she still had a duty to defend Ferelden, but not so much for the nobles. Emily pulled a piece of parchment out of her pack. She already chose Leliana and there was no way in Thedas, she was leaving Draco behind as he was all she had left. Emily knew Sten would prefer to be with her as unlike Alistair she accepted his challenge when he wanted to test their ability for battle. She befriended Morrigan, which Alistair detested as he didn't trust the witch. Morrigan seemed to let her guard down around her, becoming one of Emily's cherished friends She even learned some healing magic once she noticed the tension between Wynne and Em. Emily even sought her advice on mage or magical issues over Wynne.

Alistair's team would have Oghren, Shale, Zevran, and Wynne. She knew Zev would hate being on his team, but she had to even out the teams. There was no way Alistair was going to leave his "substitute mother" on the field without protection, no matter Eamon's protests. Emily recalled that ever since the elder mage joined the group, she seemed to always coddle Alistair. He always got comfort and praise whereas Em got the stern lectures about duty and being selfless. Even with the losses between the two wardens, Wynne seemed to make Alistair's losses greater than hers as he was allowed to grieve while she had to put hers away for the cause. Emily was even theorizing that somehow Wynne played a part in Eamon's plan to split them up and send her off. Emily recalled the last conversation the two women had that ultimately led the two to not speaking. She pulled her aside and questioned Em's intentions as she thought she was not the pure woman she made out to be, and she would hurt Alistair. Emily finally had enough of elders assuming the worst of her and reached her breaking point. She snapped back louder than she thought as she noticed all eyes were on them by telling Wynne to mind her own business. Emily then ran to the stream outside camp, with Draco running behind her. Emily giggled as in the end she was the one hurting not him. She wondered if Wynne had Eamon's ear and that was another reason for them to split, as the wording they both used was similar. Emily decided to write a final letter to Alistair, as Maker willing she would be leaving Ferelden for good. She wasn't about to let Eamon and Wynne have the final say in their breakup as he wasn't even king yet and he had already shown that he valued their opinions over hers. Eamon and apparently Alistair had gotten what they needed from her, now they felt it was time for her to disappear from their presence. Were they afraid she would lead a revolt like her ancestors before her, that's why they had tried to send to Amaranthine

Leliana was worried for her best friend and was on her way up with the food and ale Bella made for them. She saw Teegan walking in; he told her he had searched the entire castle looking for Emily. He said what Eamon and in a way Alistair did was wrong, and they deserved what she said. He wanted to make sure she was alright and say he was sorry for how she was treated and that if Emily needed any aid in getting to Kirkwall or financially he would gladly help. He owed it to her and her family to make sure she would be safe and happy, he knew for that to happen to her that meant leaving her homeland. Leliana said she would let her know about his offer, and in regards to his initial question, she went on the defensive;"Would you be, she did everything for everyone including your family, and all she wished for was a future with Alistair, or to return to Highever. What was planned for her was her own personal Ft. Drakon. She would've died by darkspawn, Howe loyalists, or probably death by her own hand. She feels betrayed mainly by the one who swore to never hurt her."

Upstairs, Emily was searching her pack for one of Morrigan's special tonics she made for her the last three months. She didn't want the others to see her weak, so she made Morrigan promise that this was just between them. She found it and drank the purple liquid and hoped her cousin in Kirkwall knew how to make it just in case whatever she had continued there. She got up making her way down to ask for a tub, when she heard Leliana talking to Teegan. Emily hid behind the door and got Bella's attention after several tries. She whispered if she could hand the papers over to Teegan. Bella saw that Em looked paler and vey red eyed from crying. A concerned Bella took the papers giving them to Leliana, but not before whispering something in the bard's ear. A now concerned Leli handed the papers to Teegan saying the folded one was for Alistair only, and not to tell anyone they were there. She wouldn't let anyone to hurt Emily anymore no matter who they were. Teegan excused himself and headed to the castle hoping to catch Alistair alone. He needed to talk some sense into him before he let the best thing walk out of his life. He saw that Eamon had retired for the night leaving Alistair in the kitchen. He handed him both notes and told him that Emily left the castle with Draco and Leliana. Teegan also told him he was being a fool for letting the best thing that ever happened to him go without a fight. He needed to stand up to Eamon or he'll go on manipulating him to get his way. Teegan told him Emily is seen as threat to his influence over you, plus he wants her to pay for Isolde's death. He said "I was there and we only had two options, as I understood that you agreed with her that the Circle needed to be annulled, so you had to know it was either to be Connor or Isolde. Emily thought about killing him, but when she looked at him, she saw her five year old nephew lying in his own blood. She couldn't bring herself to do it, as he was blameless in all that happened. She already hated what she was forced to become, but killing a child was something she swore to never do no matter the circumstances. That's why she agreed with Jowan and Isolde when the ritual was brought up, She felt she'd be no better than Howe if she killed Connor."Let's not also forget that it was Isolde's fault to begin with, she knew and hid what he was, not caring who got hurt in the process. Her sacrifice was the first time I saw her put someone before herself." Teegan began to leave, he said one last thing, "If you ask me Emily should be the one ruling Ferelden, as Anora lacks humanity and you lack leadership skills. You forced her to lead at seventeen, and put her grief aside. She couldn't mourn for people she knew her entire life, as you were grieving for people you knew six months.

He looked at the first note and noticed that each would lead a group; he started to get sad as her and Teegan's words starting playing over in his head. He finally realized Riordan was in the room and was saddened when Riordan spoke how an Archdemon was slain and blight ended. He decided that some way or somehow if Riordan failed to kill it, he would be the one to strike the fatal blow to the dragon. He wouldn't allow Emily to be the one that died. He also said that she was not to be told this as he feared the way she felt, she would be the one to do it so she could rejoin her family and feel no more pain. He made Riordan promise not to breath a word of this to her.


	4. Chapter 2

Author's note: I don't own Dragon Age as Bioware/EA, just my character! More flashback takes place 7 months prior to Em's arrival in Kirkwall.

Chapter 2

Morrigan knew the reason for Emily's illness, but decided not to tell her until after the battle was over, as the witch knew that the Archdemon would most likely be slain by Emily's hand. Most except Wynne had become worried as they noticed since returning to Redcliffe; Emily became the woman she was when their journey first started. She seemed somber and lost once again; no doubt the dimwitted fool had or hadn't said something to cause the change. Morrigan had researched her mother's grimore and was saddened to learn the fate of the warden knowing that Eamon was now controlling the male warden, thus Emily would be sacrificed. That was something the witch wasn't going to let happen, as her "sister" had done and gone beyond duty for everyone. She didn't deserve the sentence the Grey Wardens and the two fools were handing her, as apparently this Duncan saved her only to have her die a year later. Morrigan knew of a way for her to live, she just had to convince or threaten Alistair to go along with it. Emily deserved better and unbeknownst to the brown headed warden, she did indeed something to live for and Morrigan owed her for her freedom as well. Emily could've easily turned her over to the templars or taken her back to her mother's hut when Flemeth was slain, but Em's friendship and loyalty never faltered, and it was time Morrigan did the same for her. The witch hoped that Alistair's love for Emily remained and that if Em ever found out that she would understand as what she was about to propose. If he truly loved Emily like he said they would both survive and he would have what he never had and Ferelden's stability would be secure for many years to come.

Alistair returned to the now empty room, he once shared with his love and her faithful mabari. He saw the golden rose lying on the pillow and started to realize what he did earlier with Eamon was the worst thing he could ever do. He wondered if she now considered him on the same level as Howe, Loghain, and even Eamon. He remembered her saying being of noble blood sometimes brings out the worst in people as once you have power; you become addicted craving more at any and all cost. He then looked at the notes and noticed her group had those she considered most loyal excluding him. He sat on the bed, unfolded the letter and began to read.

Alistair,

I had accepted that there was a chance we wouldn't be married or together if we survived the battle. I at least was hoping to be made Teryna of my ancestral home to where I could rebuild and live out my remaining years. What do I find Eamon and you talking about my future without any respect or input from me? I knew he'd get me back somehow for Isolde, but to expect me to live where the man who betrayed my family and rule over people who may want me dead for killing him. I will not! After tomorrow I'll still have the taint, but I'll no longer be a grey warden. I will lead my group and you will lead yours, so don't expect me to meet with you for any reason. Your group will cover the lower half, and we'll take the higher half. Morrigan is not much of a healer, but she does have some healing abilities and can fight. Incidentally, Leliana knows everything that occurred in Eamon's study. She made me promise that she would be in my group, that's why Zevran is with you.

I don't know what happened to the man I fell in love with, but you've changed into being Eamon's little puppet. Had I known this little bit of information, I would've pushed for Anora to rule alone as without her father's influence maybe she would've changed. I 'm thankful that Connor seems to be nothing like his parents and will be away from Eamon's influence, which clearly you're fully under. Don't count on me being here for your coronation, celebrations or wedding; if I know Eamon he's already picked out several noblewomen lined up to be your betrothed. He sees me as a risk to his authority for some reason that's why he chose the coldest place in Ferelden symbolically to send me and you agreed. Did anyone even ask me if I wanted to be queen, I was quite content to be your wife and let you rule alone. If we win, Draco and I will be leaving as soon as the Archdemon is slain whether I'm injured or uninjured. I'm honoring my father's wishes of doing my duty until the battle. Then I'll be honoring my mother's wish for me to live what years I have left, I have family in the Free Marches, so I may start a new life there. I can leave you and Ferelden behind. I expect Wynne and or Eamon have tried to convince you that you weren't my first, but you were. When we first started this journey, I had just celebrated my 17th nameday two weeks prior. I was more into weaponry then boys

Emily R. Cousland

Alistair reread her letter several times, with more tears each reading. He remembered every moment they shared from their first kiss; giving her the rose which she cherished that she had it preserved in gold on their first trip to Orzammarr. The first night they made love which was indeed new to both as they were quite nervous and inexperienced. The night he found her near the stream, washing her arms intensely trying to get unseen blood off of her. Earlier that day he admitted who he truly was to her, that night Leliana confessed who she was before becoming a laysister. Emily gathered Wynne, Leliana, Zev, and he by the fire speaking with her native Highever accent, instead of the Antivan they had grown accustomed to. She told them her true identity. Em apologized for deceiving them, but she was afraid they'd turn on her once they found out. After everyone turned in, he went to look for them as she and Draco weren't in her tent. He found her near the river in what was a common position when she was worried or scared. She had tears running down her face, Draco allowed him to sit by her. She finally told him everything about her family; friends including her five year old nephew being slaughtered; by someone that was supposed to be a family friend. That her father agreed to let Duncan recruit her with the promise, that she could tell the king what happened and Howe would be punished. Lastly, he remembered three months ago after obtaining the aid of the dwarves, elves, and templars.

They headed to Haven, a village no one had heard of. After completing all the trials and seeing Andraste's resting place. Emily brought back a pinch of the ashes for Eamon's recovery. He wondered if she regretted obtaining the ashes as that changed their lives for the worst. His thoughts drifted back to that night as he suggested everyone find their own rooms in the temple, as the cultists had been dealt with. They found a room away from the others and made love many times not noticing a light enclosing them. Every time they stopped the slightest touch caused them to want each other. Finally falling asleep wrapped up in each other. That morning instead of hungry for food, it seemed their need was each other and they repeated the activities from last night. They got dressed, retrieved their things and their companions venturing to Redcliffe hand and hand. That seemed centuries ago, as now he had lost her to his own stupidity and allowing Eamon to decide his fate. He knew his dying wasn't in Eamon's plans, but he owed it to Emily and Duncan. He realized that Eamon would really rule Ferelden not him, Alistair knew his death put Ferelden in political chaos. He wouldn't be forced into a political marriage or producing an heir in sake of it either. His body, heart and soul belonged to one woman, and it always would be hers. All of a sudden he got a vision of the Archdemon, and knew the battle was drawing near. He wrote on a piece of parchment that in the event of his death that Anora would retake the throne if he was chosen at the Landsmeet.

Alistair was in his room when he heard a knock, hoping it was Emily and that he could make things right between them, but instead Morrigan was there. She told him she knew how an Archdemon is slain and at what cost. She told him that she had a way for the Archdemon to die, and for Emily to live. Morrigan went on that they knew she'd take the final blow not realizing it would be fatal for her, but she would accept it. Em feels she has no reason to live and she could rejoin her family. Alistair listened uncertain how Morrigan knew about the Archdemon's death. He knew Em was selfless putting everyone's life above hers. If it meant they lived and she didn't, she'd welcome death. He remembered her saying earlier in the study that she wished she died at Highever, and like an idiot he said nothing. Alistair knew if it hadn't been for Duncan, she would've been violated again and again and then killed. He also knew part of her always felt like she deserted everyone at Highever. He knew he was going to regret it, but for Emily he would. Alistair asked I agree to whatever, but under one condition; why Morrigan was doing this. She replied that Emily didn't earn the destiny planned for her; by your grey wardens and Eamon, and inadvertently yourself. She deserves a fate better than being saved from what she endured only to die a year later.

Morrigan looked at him kindly, and said," for I know if you remain true to one another and hold only each other in your hearts, you will find one another again, as you have a greater purpose together."He then asked what was required as if Morrigan knew about the Archdemon, then hope is not lost and he and his Em would be together. He just hoped what was about to happen would be quick, which thankfully it was as he imagined he was with his love and not Morrigan. He woke up and was unsure if something occurred or not. Alistair did remember Morrigan's words about staying true to and that they'd a purpose together. He swore he would make it up to her for the rest of his life all the pain she's been though by others, including Eamon and himself. He went back to sleep and dreamed of his love, he knew that some way they would find their way back to each other and never part.


	5. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Disclaimer: Once again, I don't own Dragon Age, as EA/Bioware do. My char drank Avernus' potion that's why she has visions and other abilities may be added.

True to her word, Emily and Alistair didn't cross paths after that. She was honoring her father by doing her duty; everything else was pushed out of her mind for awhile. Before leaving for Denerim, Riordan mentioned a stash of warden items hidden in a warehouse in Denerim. She was still sick as dawn approached, but Emily just took as anxiety. As sun hit the window, it awoke both rogues. They noticed Sten sleeping next to Draco on a pallet, uncertain when he came in or why he was there. They quietly got into their armor and woke up Sten and Draco. Em saw a raven at the window opening to let Morrigan in. She told them she wanted to head to Denerim within an hour. Emily thought Sten and Morrigan would put up a fuss, but neither did. Leliana brought up the Landsmeet, which Em said she had no intention of going .It was made clear by Eamon that she was only needed to defend Ferelden and no longer a part of Alistair's life. Em told them if she survived, Draco and she would be heading for Kirkwall. After the war, she wanted nothing to do with Ferelden, especially Denerim or the Grey Wardens ever again. Her parents allowed her to make choices about her life, and she wasn't going to let anyone including Eamon or the Wardens dictate who she was or what she did.

Bella brought up some food for the four including cookies for Sten and mabari treats for Draco. Emily asked Sten why he was at the inn instead of the castle with the others. He said he felt uncomfortable there as they treated him like the people in Lothering did. She felt horrible and was angry at Alistair for allowing it to happen. Sten's statement confirmed Em's fears, just like everyone else that year; Alistair had his own agenda. What was worse all the things he told her obviously meant everything to her and nothing to him. In a short, he seemed to turn into every noble suitor who tried to court her. It was all about the power and if you weren't of noble blood you didn't matter. Emily usually saw through it, but was grieving so long could Alistair have used that to his advantage. Draco barked and snapped her back to reality. They left Bella's inn and told her to be safe.

Bella had a note from Teegan which gave them four horses. Which Leliana and Emily were thankful for, Morrigan chose to fly upon the promise that if she got tired she'd ride in Bodhan's cart. She also told Sten and Draco to ride in the cart mostly to save energy. Morrigan and Sten made no mention of the previous night's contact they had with Alistair. Morrigan wanted to make sure Emily survived as she didn't want her to die. She knew Emily would ultimately be the one to kill the Archdemon, inadvertently killing them both. Alistair had told her Em didn't know that killing the Archdemon meant the warden's death, that's why he agreed to Morrigan's offer without reservation. He was unsure if Riordan would keep his pledge about not telling Em about how an Archdemon dies, Em's words would haunt him until he could make things right with the brown haired rogue.

Morrigan knew that if Alistair didn't mess things up by listening to Eamon, he'd be reunited with his true love. They wouldn't only alter warden history, but Ferelden history too. Emily and Leliana were packing the cart and aiding with hitching the horses to it. Sten recalled his own chat with Alistair. Emily was with Leliana and Draco at the inn, Alistair found Sten asking him to watch over her. He knew that Em had chosen Sten to fight beside her and not him. Sten asked he thought humans, unlike quanari had the right to make choices in their lives. Alistair looked sad and lost, replied that," not all the time". Sten continued Em's nobility explanation that an arl was below a king, but to him it seemed the arl is in control. The arl is the equal of his Arishok. He then said that maybe humans and qun aren't so different. The Arishok was the motive he came to Ferelden. The arl was the reason Alistair was to become king, and Alistair and Emily were no longer together. He and Alistair didn't question they just did what they're told. Teegan, who had been listening to the whole talk handed Sten a note for Leliana. Sten took it and left for the inn. Alistair turned to Teegan asking what the note was about. Teegan replied, "We both know what she said in Eamon's study, she feels there's nothing here for her any longer. She's a Cousland, so she'll see to her duty of ending the Blight, but after that your duty to the Wardens ends. She feels hers should end too, as it should. We both know that staying in Ferelden isn't an option for her as the Grey Wardens or Eamon will force her to be warden commander or risk death in doing so. I'd even imagine Eamon making it public at the Landsmeet, where he would force her to choose between death or becoming warden commander. If your king, he'd have you sentence her to death for defying you as there's no way she's going to Amaranthine or staying a warden voluntarily.

"We both know that she's strong-minded and will have her say even if it means butting heads with Eamon and other nobility, and that's something my brother can't and won't have". That's why he suggested Amaranthine; he wants to punish her and what better way than by sending her to the one place Howe and Loghain loyalists will be. I could tell that day in Eamon's study, Em's spirit is broken again and if she's has no will to fight, She'd be dead by their or even her own hand within a matter of days. I've been in touch with some contacts I have here and in the Free Marches; we'll keep an eye on her as I owe it to her family to make sure she's happy and safe. She's mentioned an aunt and cousins living in Kirkwall, so my guess if she lives that's where they'll be heading. I've also written the viscount, the reverend mother, and others who'll grant her entrance, so she can be reunited with her aunt and cousins.

Alistair remembered her talking to _a woman back in Lothering. They seemed happy yet sad to see one another. He recalled Emily taking valuables out of her pack and handing them to the older woman. She then kissed her on the cheek and to get the others and head through the Kocari Wilds to reach the coast. Emily watched her leave and returned to Alistair and the others. He asked who she was and she replied that she was her aunt, on her mother's side, who married an apostate. Emily wanted to leave Lothering quickly, so they could make way to the Dalish elves camps before sunset the next day._ Teegan looked at Alistair as he seemed in a daze. Alistair's heart filled with regret for ever yelling at her over Isolde's death and more importantly allowing Eamon to come between them. He knew then he may become king, but he would not marry no matter how much Eamon pushed as the one woman, who he wanted for his wife and make the perfect queen to rule beside him; wanted nothing to do with him right now. He vowed to rectify that one day if it meant going to Kirkwall to beg her forgiveness, he would have her by his side no matter what Eamon or anyone else said. Alistair thought being away from Ferelden for awhile would be best, so he could deal with Eamon and whatever threats to her life would pop up. It would hurt to be apart from her, as it already was, but he planned not to make it a long separation. Alistair vowed to never hurt or allow anyone to hurt her again.

As they were walking back, Alistair mentioned to Teegan about the locket, to his surprise Teegan had it repaired as Eamon wanted it thrown out. They returned to their rooms to prepare for the trip to Denerim. Meanwhile Emily and her party were already on the road to Denerim. Leliana had Emily laughing which was good, as she was becoming herself again. Zev had joined them, not happy that he would be with Alistair, but glad he was going to Denerim with them instead of the others. Zev wondered if she regretted reviving the arl and with the actions he took, why the arl was even still alive to begin with.

(Zev flashback)

 _They had done it all three treaties were obtained, all that was left was either to revive the arl or if the ashes were a myth, Bann Teegan would become the new arl. Emily had never heard of Haven and she was knowledgeable on all the different areas of Ferelden. Through news at the Lake Calanhad tavern, she knew there were cultists there. She decided they would stay a few days as she wasn't sure if the ashes existed and had no information on the cultists. She confided in Zevran and Sten that she should've never agreed to this as they have the armies needed. This task seemed more for Alistair's benefit, as Teegan was capable of running Redcliffe. Emily felt she owed it to Alistair to at least try._

 _In Haven, they dealt with the cult leader and several cultists. On the body of the cult leader she found a strange medallion. Meanwhile, Alistair had found a secret room, where they found the missing scholar injured. Emily persuaded him to show her how to open the temple door using the medallion, and to go back to Denerim. She split them up in groups of two to try to find the urn. Her group consisted of Zevran, Sten, and Draco; His was Leliana, Wynne, and Oghen. Alistair was nervous, as when she didn't take him or Leliana she did something that they would find morally wrong. He hoped she'd at least take Wynne, but things had been on edge, since he witnessed a fiery argument between the two. Emily even persuaded Morrigan to learn some healing magic, so she wouldn't have to be healed by the elder mage. Everyone agreed to meet at this spot no matter what, before sunset that night. She gave Alistair a kiss and the two groups went their separate ways to search._


	6. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Age, EA/Bioware do. I do however own Emily, Siobhan, and their mabaris

(Flashback cont.)

 _Both parties split in different directions searching for the Sacred Ashes. Alistair's group kept going in circles, as Leliana's tracking was off in the unknown area. While Zevran wasn't the best lock picker or cutpurse, he was excellent at tracking, between him and Emily they had killed cultists, baby dragons and drakes on their path up. They skinned the drakes for their scales, as Wade said he could make armor out of them. By the time they neared the top of the mountain, they're exhausted and battered, that's where they met Kolgrim. He was surrounded by a more cultists, who were better outfitted, fresh, and also outnumbered them by double. The previous battle with the drakes and cultists had taken their toll on her team, especially Draco. He had put himself in between her and the drakes suffering bites and burns. Draco whimpered next to her, and Em wasn't going to risk her mabari's life anymore than she had. Kolgrim made her an offer of safe passage, as long as she did a task for him. She hoped that her parents weren't watching her right now and grateful that she had chosen the members of her group. Em could just imagine the reaction from Leli, Alistair, and Wynne to her agreeing to his offer. At that moment her team and more importantly Draco came first, if the others had a problem with her decision they could yell at her later .She was to the point Wynne's opinion no longer mattered to her. The elder mage made a point to voice her displeasure about every decision the young warden made, Em wondered if Alistair ever got lectured or were those just meant for her. Kolgrim handed her the vial filled with dragon's blood and escorted them to temple. Along the way they saw a high dragon fly over which Kolgrim said was Andraste. She motioned for everyone to speed up to the temple. Emily knew if she wasn't certain how they would fare against Kolgrim that facing a dragon was definitely out of the question. Kolgrim left them at the temple door,_

 _They entered encountering a Guardian spirit, who seemed to know their deepest regrets, each answering or choosing not to. Emily's spirit almost broke as they entered the next room as a spirit in the image of her father appeared. It took her several minutes after it departed for her to regain her self- control. Every room they entered seemed to test their worthiness, with the final test meant stripping to their smallclothes. She was relieved when the Guardian appeared granting them access to the urn. Each was allowed to take a pinch of ashes, which she and Zevran did. She thought it was weird as Zev didn't seem to be Andrastian, but figured he was taking them for Leliana. The two groups still hadn't crossed paths, which was starting to worry her. Zev scanned the area looking for the Guardian or Kolgrim seeing neither. He handed her his share of the ashes telling her to put the blood on them to show that they did as Kolgrim wanted. Their injuries were amazingly healed, but they were still exhausted. She poured the blood on his pouch of ashes. Emily convinced Kolgrim that she did indeed taint the ashes and a spirit appeared saying that Andraste would rise by dawn the next morning. Emily pulled Sten aside and asked him not to say anything about the extra pouch of ashes. He agreed as unlike Alistair, she hid her grief well. Sten knew she was hurting from the guardian's questions as well as seeing the image of her father. He did have one request that they go back before they left dealing with Kolgrim, lingering cultists and the dragon. He felt slaying the dragon would be good practice if the Archdemon was indeed one. They made their way back to the meeting place._

 _Morrigan and Shale were there already. Morrigan examined them to make sure the wounds were indeed healed. Alistair and the others finally showed up before sunset. Emily showed the ashes to them. Zevran and Sten watched as Emily retold what happened leaving out the part of Kolgrim's request and seeing her father. Alistair said it was safe to camp there, as they had taken out majority of the cultists while trying to find their way back. He took Emily's hand and they went off to their own room with Draco not far behind. Leliana and Wynne went to another. Zevran said quietly to Sten now "I understand why the Crows would offer her a position, as Emily is not only a proficient killer; she's also a master bard." Shale stood guard, while Morrigan left the temple to do her nightly herbal search. Zev, Sten and Oghren went to their own rooms._

 _The next morning Alistair met with the other warriors and Wynne to take out Kolgrim, the remaining cultists and the dragon. He wanted to do it without Emily, Zev and Leliana as their armor wouldn't last as well. Alistair told Wynne to only heal them as they had planned an all out offensive and would need healing a lot. They killed Kolgrim and his men with ease. Alistair looted the horn from Kolgrim's body and blew into it. The four warriors took their positions. It took them several strategic hits, but Alistair made the crucial shot to the dragon's head. None of them were injured, but their armor was a little singed. Sten suggested they take some scales and along with the drake scales have Wade in Denerim make some armor._

 _While they were busy there, Zevran remembered how some said the Arl in Redcliffe was known to be power-hungry, manipulative and not the decent man Alistair made him out to be. The assassin knew that Alistair was so blinded by him that he'd agree to whatever Eamon wanted even if that meant being king at the expense of Emily. Eamon would want a stronger political partner like a noblewoman from Orlais to be married to Alistair. He eavesdropped one night and heard the two wardens talking about that it's harder for one warden to conceive and may be impossible for them since they both have the taint. He knew that Eamon would press for an heir, which Emily may not produce. Zevran decided then and there that he shouldn't be revived. The arl couldn't be king, but with Alistair he could rule Ferelden through him, and Alistair would allow it. Emily stood no chance as she was brilliant and a threat to Eamon. He'd seen it before; Eamon would see to it that Emily would be out of the picture either by having her sent off or worse killed. Zev knew what he had to do, he looked around to make sure he was alone. Leli and Em were off bathing, as they'd discovered a bathing area in one of the rooms. He knew they would be gone for a bit, as the two rogues treasured it when they could cleanup since traveling didn't provide that option much. Draco was with them guarding his mistress and the red headed bard. Morrigan was off to the now deceased reverend father's quarters, as she seemed to love learning as much magic as she possibly could. He quickly went to Em's satchel pulled out her pouch of ashes replacing them with his tainted ones. Which now you couldn't tell the difference as the blood seemed to blend in now, he quickly put the tainted ashes in her pack, and headed back as he heard footsteps approaching_

 _End of Flashback_


	7. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Disclaimer: once again I don't own Dragon Age, just this story, and Emily and Draco.

The Day of the Landsmeet

She couldn't believe after planning her life…her future, they wanted her to attend the Landsmeet as Teryna of Highever. She knew why Eamon was doing it as he knew the Couslands, were one of the most renowned families in Ferelden. Eamon definitely knew how to play the game, as if she sided against Alistair and he won. Not only Anora's, but her fate would be sealed. She knew what Eamon planned for her and there was no way she was freely going to Amaranthine. Em had avoided Alistair and anyone now associated with him, except Zev. She even chose to stay at the Pearl of Shianni's while the rest of her group had rooms at the Gnawed Tavern. The rogue, elven woman, and the owner of the Pearl had developed an unlikely friendship and were willing to keep Emily hidden from anyone that searched for her. She made sure they were well compensated for their silence, as she didn't want to cause them any harm. Em confided in them that other had planned on her fighting her remaining years, but she only had one fight left in her, and Draco was becoming to aggressive. She missed his playfulness, and only way for her and him to have a normal life is to leave Ferelden. Zev seemed to always somehow know where she was at all times, as he was the one that told her attendance was requested at the Landsmeet.

Not only were they deciding who should have the throne, but if Loghain and Anora lost, their fate was to be decided. He was planning to charge Anora with the same crimes as her father. Emily now knew why her father said to be wary of Eamon as an ally; he wanted to get rid of not only Emily but Anora too. Em knew it was Loghain and Howe behind all of their crimes. She refused to go, as she meant what she said about never seeing them again. Emily got some parchment writing who she thought should rule, but chose to leave it blank as if she wrote Anora. Guards would be sent all around Denerim looking for her, she knew Eamon wasn't going to let Anora rule, let alone Emily remain free if that happened. Eamon would have Em brought up on treason charges, which the new Alistair would gladly sign off on. If it wasn't for Leli, Sten, and Draco she was tempted to take her chances, as she had already escaped Fort Drakon once. Of the three wardens, she figured it was up to her and Riordan to defeat the Archdemon, so his highness could remain unhurt and take credit for the victory. She wasn't going to leave Riordan in that position. When it came to Anora, she wrote that she should be exiled as she doesn't warrant death or imprisonment for crimes she had no knowledge or committed. She stamped it with the seal of Highever, and handed it to Zev. She told him to hand it to Teagan and handed him her father's signet ring. Emily knew she needed hers for passage into Kirkwall. Em learned through several bartenders that Kirkwall was sending back refugees, but as long as you had proof that you had family they would let you in. She also told him to tell Alistair to take his group, Templars and Eamon's knights to Redcliffe. Her group, the Dalish and dwarves will remain there. Emily then kissed Zevran on the cheek telling him his oath to her was complete. He could either stay or fight with Alistair or leave. Em did have one request that he stay for Anora's sentencing making sure she made it out of Ferelden safely, no matter what fate Eamon handed down. They said their goodbyes and Zev used stealth to leave the Pearl. Zev couldn't understand how Eamon was still alive.

Riordan had kept his word to Alistair about not revealing Emily's possible fate, but he did tell her about a hidden cache of warden items in the Denerim warehouse. She excused herself, and told Draco to stay put until she returned. She found several items including a shield. She decided to leave most of the items there, as her time with the Wardens was ending. Emily did take a grey warden book, as she was still unsure of what the effects of being a warden would have on her later on. Em kept going back and forth about the shield, as only one warrior relied on a sword and shield to fight. She picked up the shield again, and got a vision of Duncan using the shield, which was odd as he seemed to be a rogue in the short time, she knew Duncan. Em gathered the book and shield heading back to the Pearl.

Meanwhile at the Landsmeet, Leliana used her stealth mode to observe the event. She saw Zevran handing Teagan a document and ring. She watched Eamon talking to just about every noble there. Zev saying something to Alistair, which made the blonde warrior mad. The elven assassin then walked over to where Leliana stood. She unstealthed, but kept her cloak over her head. He told her that he was leaving once Anora's outcome was dealt, as he was asked by Em to get Anora out of Ferelden. His oath was to Emily not Alistair and she gave him the option to stay or go. He chose the latter as his only loyalty was to her and not a Ferelden battle. He said he would take a ship as soon as Anora's left. The two rogues then talked over who would go to Kirkwall first to keep an eye on Emily. Once they knew that's where she was planning on going, they had gathered contacts there. It was decided that Zev would go first, as Leli had some loose ends to clear up with the chantry. Then she would let him know when she would be in Kirkwall. They looked up and Eamon indeed made deals with everyone but Emily and one other noble. Loghain was stripped of his regency, but challenged Alistair to a duel. A newly arrived Anora looked on as her father lost, Alistair was seconds away from executing the disgraced teryn; When Riordan appeared offering Loghain be spared and become a warden. Alistair refused and swung his blade, Riordan eyed Alistair with disdain, as he had just possibly sealed Emily's fate with his blade. The older warden was unaware of the ritual that had taken place that ensured whoever killed the Archdemon would live. Anora ran over to her father's body and kneeled in prayer. Zevran and Leliana looked at each other knowing that if Emily had been there she would've not allowed Loghain to die in front of his daughter. The next vote was to see whether Anora or Alistair would rule alone, as Anora said there was no way she would rule with her father's murderer. Every bannorn had casted their vote for Alistair, with Gwaren out The final vote was Highever's. Everyone noticed that Emily Cousland, acting teryna, still had not arrived. Teagan spoke up saying he spoke for Highever and Teryna Cousland that she has declined to vote on this matter. The room went silent at that announcement as most figured she would be his biggest supporter. Teagan then went on that she has more pressing duties at that moment; she did however make her feelings known that if Anora lost. She is to be exiled to Antiva or Orlais, whichever Anora chooses. Teagan continued looking at Eamon who was irate, but not caring at that moment. She doesn't believe Anora was involved in the crimes committed by her father and Rendon Howe, nor had knowledge .In the end, Alistair, who showed no emotion since he realized Emily wasn't coming was chosen to be king. Anora was stripped of all power and titles decided on Antiva. Alistair finally spoke; silently hoping Morrigan's ritual worked, but just in case said that Anora would return and retain her title as well as the crown. In the meantime, the Arl would remain regent until the battle was over. The statement shocked everyone, and made Eamon angrier. He said they have a Blight to contend with and told the templars, his group, and Eamon's knights to await further instruction. Riordan stepped up saying that Alistair and his army should head to Redcliffe immediately, as he sensed that darkspawn would be there. He would remain behind with the troops there and aid Emily as he would rather fight alongside her than him at the moment. Alistair noticed Zevran accompanying Anora out of the room, and finally realized Leliana was in the room. He moved closer to Teagan and the bard as he saw Teagan hand back the Cousland signet ring and talking further about keeping watch and updating him about Emily, then something about the Free Marches. Leliana didn't even acknowledge Alistair as she made her way out with Riordan.

The new king made his way over to Teegan asking what that was about. Teegan replied he wanted to make sure Emily was safe, happy, and provided for. He owed it to Bryce, Eleanor, and Fergus that what years she has left she deserves to be happy. Especially, now since she can add Eamon as an enemy. They noticed Eamon stomping his foot which meant they were to be on their way. The whole way back to Redcliffe, Eamon complained about Anora, and then started on Emily. Alistair had enough it was one thing to condemn Anora, but he drew the line at attacking Em. He also let it be known he will rule, but with no queen as due to their actions, his perfect queen and love of his life was no longer in his life..Teegan smiled as Alistair continued that in addition, there will be no attempts on Emily's life wherever she ends up. She will not be berated in his presence or out. If his terms were not respected; Eamon would go back to Redcliffe, and Teegan would become his advisor. No one noticed trailing behind a lone male riding a horse behind them with the shield of Highever.


	8. Chapter 6

Chapter 6:

Author's Note: My apologies for not updating sooner. Life and gaming got in the way, not to mention its hard writing an angsty fic when you're currently romancing him in another PT of DAO.

Emily and Draco arrived in Kirkwall a few weeks later. She had written her cousin prior to the battle that she would be arriving soon. Leliana and Sten said their goodbyes to her as they docked in Kirkwall. Both had a lot of travel to go to their destinations. Her cousin Siobhan Hawke was waiting along with her mabari Kalen to meet up with her. Siobhan had recently herself returned from an expedition which allowed her to finally move from her uncle's place to the Amell estate in Hightown. They hugged and laughed as they watched their mabaris jump on each other playfully. Emily offered to pay for the room and other necessities while she stayed at the estate, but Siobhan was hearing none of it as she told her that she's family and that she owed her nothing. As they went further into the city, Emily pulled her cloak over her head, so she wouldn't be recognized. They talked along the way about what happened in Ferelden and the losses they both suffered. Emily was shocked to learn that Flemeth aided her relatives to reach the coast. Especially since she had just killed her six months ago, so Morrigan fears were validated as she said that she wouldn't be fully dead. She was worried for Morrigan and hoped the two witches kept their distance from each other. As they were reaching the estate, Sandal came running out hugging a surprised Emily and a happy Draco. Siobhan said that her home was now Emily's as well, as it was just her and her mom along with Sandal and Bodhan. Emily asked about Carver, and wasn't surprised that Carver had become a templar. She was grateful to find out that him nor did Gamlen live there. She knew that Carver was always resentful of his sisters and father as he thought magic was sinful. They continued talking and realized that had a lot in common including a female pirate who stole a Qun tome which led to a Quanari siege. Em asked now that she was down a rogue if she ever needed her help she would help on night jobs. By now everyone knew the Ballad of the Warden, and she didn't want to bring unnecessary attention to herself which could harm Siobhan, so day jobs would be out. Emily was started to feel tired and excused herself to take a nap. She unpacked her things and discovered Morrigan's note which explained why she was under the weather for the last three months. She was pregnant! She went through many emotions from happiness, sadness, to anger as the main reason Alistair dumped her was he and Eamon felt she couldn't have children, and now she was. She almost felt like writing and telling him that she was having their child, but figured Eamon would intercept it or that only reason Alistair would want her was because of the life growing inside her. She quickly ran downstairs to Siobhan and told her the news. Siobhan said that one of her friends was a healer named Anders, and that he was also a Grey Warden. Emily was worried, as she didn't want the Grey Wardens to come looking for her as she had done what was asked and had no intention of rejoining the Order. Emily was relieved when she found out Anders had left them as well, and had no plans of rejoining them either. Siobhan would have him come by later to ease Emily's nerves and make sure there was no harm to either Emily or the little one inside her.

*Note: Since Emily never made it to Vigil's Keep, she never recruited Anders or met Justice. Stroud did, and they merged later. Also this starts from Act II of DA2 as they just moved to Hightown


	9. Chapter 7

**Chapter 9: Chapter 7**

Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Age, Bioware/EA do. Also instead of three years, only two years will pass

Chapter 7

It had been a few weeks since Alistair, Teegan, and Fergus left the top of Fort Drakon. Eamon, who was supposed to be back in Redcliffe, was still in Denerim. He suggested that they have a celebration and ball due to the end of the Blight and Alistair's coronation. This way Alistair could be formally introduced to all the noble families. Alistair and Fergus were about to speak when Teegan, who was chancellor to both Fergus and Alistair at the moment spoke. Teegan said it was no use to have a celebration when the ones who actually ended it, mainly Emily were no longer in Ferelden. He continued that Alistair has made it quite clear that he would rule alone as there was only one woman for him and thanks mostly to you she isn't here."Furthermore, you're not needed here, so please return to Redcliffe immediately."Eamon started leaving in a huff, but not before Alistair warned him that if he hears any disparaging comments of Emily he'll know he said it and he'll be stripped of his arlship. Teegan called for Ser Perth to escort Eamon out of Denerim personally. He put his arm to his chest and nodded. The three men went back to work, as Fergus was leaving at the end of the week for Highever, he was half tempted to see if he could stay in Denerim longer as he didn't feel like returning to Highever yet. He thanked Teegan for speaking as he was about to hit Eamon again for insulting his sister. A raven flew into the window with a message for Teegan. It was from one of his contacts in Kirkwall that Emily and Draco was indeed there and was staying with her cousin. The other two men looked at him, and Teegan knew he had to tell them or he was no better than his brother. He showed them the note saying that he had contacts keeping an eye on her for them. Alistair asked how that was possible as Em was an intelligent rogue, who would know she was being watched. Then he remembered the day of the Landsmeet watching Zevran, Teegan, and Leliana talking and understood that those two would be able to without her suspecting it. Alistair and Fergus hoped that her stubborn streak would end soon and she would return. News was not good coming from Kirkwall, they had just survived a Quanari attack and tensions were rising between the mages and templars. Each man silently prayed to the Maker that she would be alright and agreed that if she wasn't back in Ferelden within a year they would personally go themselves and bring her back. They had a lot of rebuilding in Ferelden to do, and as much as they hated to wait a year they had no choice. Fergus said they would have to come up with a reason for the trip or she would see right through them, Teegan recommended they tell her they were bringing back Ferelden citizens. Alistair smiled and was happy that Teegan was his chancellor and not Eamon. Fergus said that was a good idea, as he heard that Fereldens weren't thought of too highly there either and this way to could accomplish two things at once. Fergus said that he was cautious at first of Alistair, but being around him and seeing how much he loves his sister that if they decided he would be honored for Alistair to be a part of his family. Alistair teared up and hugged him. They all wished Emily was there, as she would be a vital part of rebuilding and was much loved by its citizens. Alistair was happy that an Orlesian warden named Stroud was Warden Commander of Ferelden as that cleared the way for when she returned to him she would be his wife and queen only. As they were finishing for the day it occurred to them that she was unaware of the recent appointments, but more importantly Fergus was alive.

Anders entered the Amell estate alongside Siobhan. She told him that for the time being he was to tell no one Emily was there, especially Varric. She didn't want to cause her any unneeded stress and Emily already had several tales and ballads written about her without Varric writing another. She was in the living room watching Draco and Kalen play with Sandal. Bodhan was sitting with her and excused himself as he said he had errands to run. Emily had sensed Anders, before he even came in. Neither of them wanted to go back to the Wardens, so it eased any tension about one reporting on the other. He had her lie down and he began to scan her stomach. He remembered Stroud saying children were next to impossible for Grey Wardens to have, but yet Emily was proof that that was wrong as she was indeed pregnant. He also discovered she was not only carrying one life in her, but two and they appeared to be taint free. He told her the news which she was stunned and blessed that she was carrying twins. Anders told her that he would be by regularly and not to come to his clinic as it was in a shady part of Kirkwall. He told Hawke to keep an eye on her, and that Bodhan should be told as well so he can watch her when Siobhan is out of the house.

Bodhan arrived at the Hanged Man and met up with Teegan's contact, Zevran discovered that Bodhan was living at the Amell estate along with Emily and Siobhan. This new bit of information was welcomed as now they could watch over her more closely, without her finding out. He was a little concerned when he found out that a mage, who was a known healer was visiting her. He asked Bodhan to find out if anything was wrong before sending word to Teegan, who was now Alistair's advisor. Zevran would send word to Leliana who was arriving in a few weeks as he had some unfinished Crow assassinating to do and would be taking over spying while he was away. Zevran pulled out some sovereigns and handed them to Bodhan. He told him he would see him in a few days. Back at the Hawke estate, Emily was feeling happy and sad again. She was happy that she was pregnant and the babies were safe, but sad though as Alistair should be here and they should be celebrating this together. She also knew that her fighting days were over, as now with two lives depending on her they were here top priority.


	10. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Author's Note: I don't own my Dragon Age, just Emily and Siobhan.

The next few weeks passed and Emily started showing more. Siobhan managed to keep her companions at bay only allowing Anders to come by the estate. Between Anders, Bodhan, and her they planned to keep Em as calm and protected as possible. Bodhan found out how many months along she was and figured out that Alistair was the father. He paced back and forth debating whether to tell Zevran and Leliana that Emily was pregnant, but in doing so would betray not only Emily, but Siobhan and Anders trust in him as well. Anders told him stress would not be good for her or her twins. He decided to tell them, but also that it would be Em's decision whether Alistair would be told or if she would return to Ferelden. He watched as Siobhan met with Varric, Fenris, and Merrill. Anders was still at his clinic before stopping by the Amell estate to check on Emily. Siobhan typically kept him out of their jobs on Emily's checkup days. She just had to dodge questions mostly by Varric on where he was and why they were meeting at the tavern lately.

Bodhan watched as he saw them depart making his way where to two cloaked figures were sitting. He ordered a pint of ale from Edwina to get up the courage to tell relayed what he knew that she was entering her fifth month of pregnancy. He told them that according to the healer that's been supervising her care according to what he knew it was virtually unheard of grey wardens especially a female to even have babies and carry it full term. Leliana started to cry, as she realized that if they weren't careful they could not only risk Emily's life, but her unborn children as well. She cursed Eamon and even Alistair under her breath as they essentially drove Em to leave Ferelden. The three talked as to what to do next as they had to report to Teegan, but given Emily's delicate condition, she took priority over Teegan, Ferelden, and Alistair. They sent word that they were following leads and would have more information within a few weeks. Before he left, Bodhan told them he would not bring up Alistair or returning to Ferelden to Emily, as it's her decision what to do. He also said by now Teegan has probably told Alistair where she is, and neither have come or sent for her .Emily had confided in him why she left him was because he would need a heir she wouldn't be able to provide, so Eamon convinced him to break things off. Emily needs to know that Alistair wants her for her, not because she is carrying the future heirs of Ferelden.

Meanwhile, back at the Amell estate, Anders was finishing examining Emily. The twins were developing normally and still showed no sign of the taint. Oddly Emily's taint levels seemed to be decreasing as well. Sandal and the two mabaris were sitting close by, as they seemed to sense there was something strange about him and refused to leave Emily's side while Anders examined her. Siobhan quickly did the jobs, as she wanted to return home as she feared leaving Em alone in Ander's care for too long. The spirit of Justice that Anders had merged with seemed to be trying to take control of Ander's body and mind more as of late. She and Varric even had a bet going on who would turn into an abomination first, him or Merrill, who was an elven blood mage.

In Ferelden, Fergus had successfully extended his time at the palace in Denerim by another week, but knowing the following week he had to return to Highever .He secretly hoped that his sister was somehow on her way back to Ferelden. He decided to write a letter to her letting her know he was alive and that he missed her and that she needed to quit blaming herself for what happened at their family's castle. Alistair told him that she had nightmares of that night and blamed herself for not seeing through Howe or his guards. He finished it, and would send it when Teegan sent his response to his contacts' letter. Teegan had just returned from Redcliffe where Eamon had taken a turn for the worse as of late. He probably wouldn't live past another winter, which presented a problem. With both Eamon and Isolde passed on, the only heir was their mage son Connor and him. His only solution was that he and Fergus would take turns coming to Denerim to help Alistair out. Fergus looked relived at the suggestion. As they were talking a raven flew in with what Teegan was waiting for. It was written in Leliana's hand, she wrote that Emily was fine, but she'll have more news in her next missive. She also stated that Alistair needed to figure out where he and Em stood, as they knew he would have to make the first move as Emily loved him, but with her stubbornness and unforeseen circumstances will make it harder for her to return soon. The last lines caused concern on the two men's' faces. Alistair walked in at that moment; he knew Fergus wouldn't be concerned about Eamon's coming death. Honestly, with the way Eamon schemed to get Emily out of Alistair's life he wasn't sure he would mourn him either. He asked to look at the note and was now concerned along with them. He promised once the winter was over, he and one of the two men would be on a ship bound for Kirkwall. Either Fergus or Teegan would have to stay behind and be regent while they were gone. Alistair finally said what both men had wanted to hear that he was going to go beg her forgiveness, and tell her that he loved her and wanted her for his wife .He then said that heir or no heir she would be his queen, and should've been all along. She would also be his advisor freeing the two men to return to their respected lands. Alistair did make one request that once Highever castle was rebuilt that it wouldn't look like it was before, as he knew it would be difficult not only for Emily but Fergus as well. He put on his chainmail, and went to go spar with a few of his knights. The two men had the biggest smiles on their faces as Alistair finally admitted to not only them, but himself what they and every citizen of Ferelden, noble and commoner alike that there was only one woman for the king. In one of Teegan's first acts as chancellor he personally wrote to each noble family all over Thedas that Alistair had chosen to rule alone, he had a duty to uphold, but marriage was out of the question. Thanks to Leliana and her network of bards the Ballad of the Wardens reached all corners. It told of their unending love and devotion to one another. Word also spread that had it not been for a certain noble from Redcliffe's interference their queen would not only come from one of Ferelden's prominent families, but the one woman who united a nation and saved them all. Between Leliana and Teegan they made it clear that any hopes of a marriage be it political or otherwise was not going to happen unless your last name was Cousland.


	11. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Author's Note: I don't own Dragon Age; EA/Bioware do. This chapter is more Eamon-centric, as his health is not changing, which calls for mostly bed rest leading to reflection.

Autumn was slowly fading into winter. Ferelden was in the process of healing and rebuilding. Teegan and Fergus were splitting time between their respected bannorns and Denerim. Alistair seemed to push himself into work, as when he wasn't working his thoughts would turn to the love his life. He couldn't wait for the first thaw as he and Teegan were sailing to Kirkwall to convince Fereldens to return, especially a certain brown haired green eyed female from Highever. He was thankful for his sort of uncle as he had made it clear to every noble in Thedas including one in Redcliffe that they were destined for a lone monarch if he couldn't convince Emily to return with them .He thumbed over the golden encased rose, and looked over papers. Alistair knew that he had to be himself when he saw her, and not King Alistair. He eagerly awaited Teegan's return from Redcliffe, as the next missive from Kirkwall was due in two days. He hoped that it would explain what the unforeseen situations were, and prayed to the Maker that she was okay and she would forgive him as he couldn't imagine his life without her in it. He almost felt the Maker was punishing Eamon as the healers said that he was slowly dying and if he lived past the winter that was a miracle in itself. He was suffering his own punishment as his nights were filled with dreams and occasionally nightmares of Emily. He dreamed of seeing her the first time, kissing her, being each others' first .Then some dreams turned into nightmares as he remembered the look on her face that night at Eamon's estate when he allowed Eamon to come between them. He threw a dagger angrily at the door as Fergus walked in.

Back in Redcliffe, Eamon was confined to his bed again; He had relinquished most of his duties to his brother since falling ill again. He hoped when he did that that Teegan would seek his guidance on ruling Redcliffe as well assisting Alistair, but that was not the case. He only stopped to see how was doing, then would either head to the village or travel to Denerim. From castle gossip, it was well known throughout Redcliffe that Eamon was the reason for Emily's departure from Ferelden. Even his most loyal knights Sers Donall and Perth seemed to acknowledge him at times. He also knew that Teegan much loved in the arlship than he ever was. He was shocked to learn that Teegan was not only overseeing repairs of the village, but also helping physically with the construction. Fergus Cousland was apparently doing the same in Highever, which wasn't too much of a surprise given how his parents raised him and his sister. Connor was adjusting well at the Circle; most had forgiven him placing the blame on Isolde as if she had been honest about their son's abilities the events at Redcliffe would've never happened. His mind went to that night when Emily confronted the three men; looking back he was wrong to interfere in Alistair and her relationship. She was much loved by all of Ferelden, she was a natural leader, and most importantly she was versed not only in the politics of Ferelden, Antiva, and Orlais also. There were rumors that Bryce was grooming her to become Teryna over her brother, as she had all the qualities and skills for it. He allowed his anger over Isolde's death to cloud his judgement; he realized that in pushing them apart he potentially doomed Ferelden, as Alistair was intent on ruling alone, which meant no heir. Eamon in one selfish decision had set forth that in another thirty years Ferelden could be in another civil war for the crown. Teegan who was covered in dirt and wearing a tunic and tan pants walked in telling him that he would be leaving for Denerim in the morning. As he was about to leave Eamon spoke saying that, "He wanted to punish Emily for Isolde's death that's why he pushed for her and Alistair to breakup, and was intent on having her go to Amaranthine. Howe's supporters would not be happy that she was there, especially as their arlessa, she would be tormented by them as much as the darkspawn." Eamon said she took his happiness, so he planned on making her life as miserable. Teegan couldn't believe what he was hearing; he spoke with anger in his voice."You not only took her from Alistair, but Fergus as well. She isn't even aware he's alive. You don't see the pain in their eyes, they want her here, and the people of Ferelden want her here."You had no right to involve yourself in their relationship, they loved each other; she didn't deserve how you treated her, do you realize that Fergus considers you on the same level as Howe when it comes to his sister, you took her happiness away". Teegan continued, "She considered killing Connor, but when she looked at him, she saw her nephew at Connor's age. She couldn't bring herself to do it, and even though she was taught blood magic was sinful. She asked Isolde several times if she was willing to sacrifice herself, and every time Isolde said yes. Emily knew she would meet Alistair's wrath, but when she looked at Isolde she saw her mother, as her mother sacrificed herself so she could escape. Emily never left Isolde's side and cried when she took her last breath. She sent the others back to camp, but Alistair and Wynne came back saw Isolde and started spewing the most hateful things at her. Emily took it all. I had them escorted out, as she didn't deserve it."She didn't ask for her family to be murdered leaving the only life she had known, to lead because Alistair wouldn't. She was forced to make difficult decisions in a matter of seconds, and she certainly didn't deserve her life and happiness to be ripped from her once again by you."

Eamon looked shocked as he never saw Teegan this angry at him or anyone for that matter. Eamon spoke saying, you're right and I'm sorry and I know I don't have much time left, so would you mind if I accompany you to Denerim as I need to apologize to Alistair and Fergus for my actions." He agreed, but reminded him that the two men may not be so open to forgive him. Teegan said they need to be on the road by first light tomorrow, as he and Alistair needed to finalize reconstruction plans as they would be heading for the Free Marches as soon as the first thaw occurs.


	12. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Disclaimer: Sorry for the long delay, it's hard to write angsty, when you mostly read is love stories between the two. Once again I don't own Dragon Age; EA/Bioware does

It had been six months since that night at the temple in Haven, Emily could no longer hide that she was expecting. She had met all of Hawke's friends except one who left before the quanari war. To avoid unneeded attention, Siobhan introduced her as Emily Mac Eanraig to her friends and everyone else. Emily decided to go by her mother's maiden name, as she didn't want word to get out about her location or current condition. Leandra had suggested she use Amell, which was her father's maternal name. Emily didn't want to add to Siobhan's growing interest from Knight Commander Meredith. She knew her mother's siblings many children among them who settled in Antiva. She could easily pass for one of them. It helped that she was fluent in Antivan, and could speak with an Antivan accent if needed. She tried it out on Meredith and noticed she was none the wiser. She met her once visiting the Chantry. Meredith made Greagior seem like a teddy bear. She had learned from her own experience that being everyone's rescuer was both a blessing and curse. One wrong move intentional or not could lead Siobhan and her friends to the Gallows, where Emily had noticed more Tranquil lately. Through Siobhan, Emily learned that another person from her past was in Kirkwall. She wanted to check on him, as when she saw him last at the tower; he wasn't in the best shape mentally.

Siobhan was out doing jobs that either the City Guard or Templars didn't deem important. Leandra was out at a luncheon or with her suitor; the cousins had found lilies and a note the other day. Emily decided to take the mabaris for a walk and to find Cullen. Sandal held out his hand to go with her. Bodhan left earlier for a meeting, which she guessed was merchant related. She was unaware he was meeting a certain red headed bard at the Hanged Man. Leliana was meeting him alone as the Crows had found out Zev was in Kirkwall. Unknown to the dwarf and bard, Siobhan was currently aiding Zevran against the Crows. At first she was hired by them to hunt the elf, but once she found out this was the Zev that Emily spoke of. She and her friends aided the elf in eliminating the latest attempt on Zevran's life by his former associates. He told her that Emily was not to know he was there. She asked why and all he said his reasons were his own, she agreed not to mention it to her cousin.

Bodhan helped Varric with merchant guild dealings; so Varric let him use his room when he was away. He heard a familiar Orlesian voice enter the room. He informed her that Em was going by Rowan Mac Eanraig; she didn't want people knowing who she really was. She confided in him back at the estate that Emily Cousland no longer lived. Howe, the Wardens, Eamon and Alistair succeeded in taking who she was away from her. She chose it as Rowan was her middle name and Mac Eanraig was her mother's maiden name. Em had many cousins on her mother's side, so no one would suspect. Leliana understood as this way her life was hers to live, the Wardens would think she's dead. From what Leliana secretly heard in a talk between Riordan and Alistair she should be. Yet, she was defying Warden Ideology by being alive and bringing life into the world. Leliana guessed since Emily told them she would head to the Free Marches. Eamon would send word of Emily's location to the Wardens or have her killed in Kirkwall

This was Em's way of starting over without having to worry about her past life finding her. Leliana asked how Emily was doing, he replied that she's well and six months along .Siobhan kept Emily's true identity secret only known to her mother, staff and Anders. Even Siobhan's friends didn't know who her cousin really was. They just knew her as Siobhan's cousin, which she actually is .She seems to be embracing her imminent motherhood leaving her fighting days behind. Leliana asked if it would be okay if she told Emily's condition in her next letter to Teegan. She was already a few days late in sending one. He hoped that he wouldn't regret this as he had seen Emily's rage and heard Siobhan's was equal to it. He suggested telling Teegan that he was attending to an expectant Rowan who was entering her six month. Neither was aware that Teegan revealed the information he received with both Alistair and Fergus, who they with Emily thought to be dead. Bodhan advised giving Teegan that name as he thought no one would know Emily's middle or maiden name which she went by now. This way he wasn't betraying the cousins' trust in him. Leliana prayed that Teegan or Alistair would come soon or she would have to reveal herself to Emily and get her out of Kirkwall soon. She was worried with the information she had collected about the templars and the mages, she wouldn't let Emily caught up in it.

Bodhan and Leliana left the tavern together. They were coming to the market in Hightown when he stopped. A few feet away were Sandal, two mabaris and a radiant and very expecting Emily. She was dressed in a simple noble dress that had been altered to adapt to her growing belly. Pregnancy brought out a more relaxed and softer side of Em. She looked to not have a care in the world, not having to worry about fighting or making decisions, or having them made for her. Sandal held her hand the whole time, while the two mabaris never left her side. Bodhan said the other mabari was Siobhan's and was born in the same litter as Draco. She was talking to a templar who Leliana thought looked familiar. She waited for Emily to enter the estate, and told Bodhan she had other business to attend to. It would require leaving Kirkwall for a month. Zevran will be in contact with him soon as she will relay what she knows to him. Bodhan hoped that things would be resolved soon as it would be time for Emily's twenty first nameday in a few months. Siobhan was planning a special dinner for Emily's nameday and being expectant. If they wanted her and Zev were invited he'd just have to clear it with Siobhan.

Leliana returned to her room and wrote to Teegan. She was torn as she wanted Alistair and Em together, but seeing her today; She saw her care-free and blissful. Em wanted that life six months ago, but did she want it now. Teegan would be obligated to tell Alistair that Emily was six months along with his heirs. She chose to go with Bodhan's idea using Rowan which she went by now, Leliana made up an imaginary houseguest using Em's alias. It gave the idea that there was an expectant mother living with the cousins, so not betraying Emily and not keeping secrets from Teegan. She detailed the present conditions in Kirkwall and _Rowan_ 's condition. She wanted Alistair to come because he loved Emily, not because she was carrying his heir(s), and she knew that's what Em needed as well. She recalled her talks with her at camp about what nobles' daughters' expectations were and before their deaths; her parents were giving her time to choose before they would've chosen for her.

 _She said that Siobhan and Emily took in Rowan, was an Antivan noblewoman, whose life seemed to mirror Em's minus the Grey Warden part. Em really bonded with and considers her like a sister. She has brought back Emily from the darkness that Howe, the Blight, Eamon, and a way Alistair caused. Bodhan says she doesn't miss fighting or the constant looking over her shoulder anymore. She realizes that she'll never find love again, she's accepted it as Alistair was her way of having what her parents had and he pushed her aside. She knew that wasn't said, but from the way Bodhan talked that's how she felt. Leliana hoped that would wake up Alistair and realize, before it was too late as her next lines would happen if he didn't as she was firm and she knew Zev felt the same way. Given that Rowan's expecting in a few months a decision has to be made either on your end or ours. Zevran and I will keep Emily safe at any cost and since Rowan and she are inseparable these days we'll have to get them out of Kirkwall as soon as the first thaw hits. Tensions are coming to ahead soon, and we'll not risk their lives on Alistair's indecisiveness or Ferelden politics._ She attached it to a crow and sent it on its way.


	13. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Disclaimer: Back again, as you've noticed the events in DA2 and my story are out of sequence. I researched and Eleanor's last before she married was Mac Eanraig. I don't own DA just my characters

True to his word, Teegan and Eamon were en route to Denerim at first light. Eamon rode in a carriage, while Teegan chose to ride with Redcliffe soldiers on horseback. He didn't know how Alistair would react to Eamon's confession; he hoped Fergus was at Highever still, as he knew he wouldn't take it well. They had just left a reconstructing Lothering, when Teegan noticed the familiar shields of Highever led by Fergus .The two men greeted one another choosing to go to Denerim together. The younger Guerrin noticed Fergus not acknowledging Eamon's presence on the trip. He feared once Eamon admitted his mistakes, things were going to get colder between the three men with him as a mediator. He regretted his part in not stopping Eamon's plan that sent the young Cousland to leave. Little did he know that a crow was within twelve hours of its destination. The message once read and real identity of the expectant mother figured out would cause tensions that wouldn't be repairable. 

It was approaching nightfall in Denerim, but Alistair couldn't sleep like most nights as she would haunt his dreams. He longed for the nights, when she slept beside him in their tent. He was a fool to listen to Eamon. Bann Alfstanna, as much as told him during their meeting today. It seemed Teegan and Fergus had an agreement, when neither was there she was to be. He recalled their meeting earlier that started out political, but turned to his mistake of letting Emily leave. She told him about Bryce and Eleanor's attempts at matching Emily. She beat some at contests which made them back off, when Draco was large enough he would scare them out of Highever many missing the rear of their pants if he was able to catch them running She was stubborn like her grandfather and refused every noble match offered from Ferelden and Antiva. She seemed to love anything and everything about Antiva, including speaking the language. Elle used to send her during the summers hoping that some Antivan noble would catch her eye, but all Emily would come back is with was new poison methods and new daggers.

"In case you haven't noticed Alistair, most nobles don't marry out of love; it's more for political alliances. ''They don't share the same room or even estate. Elle and Bryce were exceptional as they truly loved each other and their children especially Emily wanted it. "She continued."You broke down her walls, and she allowed her heart to heal and love again. "Even Draco accepted you, which is rare for a mabari.""Isolde changed Eamon, as he used to be more like Teegan; status seemed very important to her and being the King's advisor would do that, wouldn't it". It would also mean leaving Redcliffe, which even prior to the Blight, Isolde wasn't very popular. Alistair nodded in agreement."I know what happened at Redcliffe through Teegan, and Isolde's self-importance set in motion many events, my brother's imprisonment included and I'm unsure if he'll fully recover. Alfstanna seemed to stop for a moment thinking of Irminric.

She regained her composure to finish speaking, "You know Eamon tried to convince many that Emily killed Isolde, and Isolde didn't sacrifice herself."Many nobles, me included were going to put forth both of you together as your what Ferelden needs, a monarchy who loves each other and who can rule jointly as one in the absence of the other for all Fereldens not just noble or human."I remember hearing Teegan talking to the redheaded rogue at the Landsmeet, saying that the two of you always talked over things before deciding, except when there was no other viable option at the time like at the Circle."I have spoken much today, and I believe Teegan shall be here soon, so I'll take my leave."Just one thing when you see her again, be the Alistair I see and I imagine she saw, not the one Eamon wants you to be. They said their goodbyes, and Alistair was left to process all that Alfstanna just said especially that Eamon lied about Isolde's death.

Author's Note: Two chapters in one week, and possibly a third. I always like Alfstanna, even if she was briefly in the game. My female characters are based on her; headstrong, loyal, butting heads with most of the males at Landsmeets since she is one of the few females in charge of land. Alistair bonded with her as she reminds him of an older version of Em, and she's very direct in telling him what he needs to hear instead of what others want him to hear.


	14. Chapter 12A

Chapter 12 Part 1

I don't own Dragon Age, EA/Bioware do. This chapter will be in 3 parts; this was mostly Fergus' reaction, next will be Alistair's, and followed by Teegan

Dawn was approaching, Alistair hadn't slept much as he went over everything Teegan and Alfstanna had said. His anger towards Eamon had not faded. His talk with the female Bann yesterday, made him realize that when making decisions he'll consider what Emily would do. It worked during the Blight, except when Eamon interfered causing her to leave. He missed her dearly, as he felt incomplete without her there. Alistair reminded himself that he only had two more months before the trip to Kirkwall. Maker willing she would forgive him as long as he spoke from his heart, and he was just Alistair. He made a point of wearing the tan pants and blue tunic she loved so much. He would only dress officially when he was meeting Meredith, which from what he heard she would have Flemeth running back to the Wilds if they met. He noted that there was no official business for once, so he decided today was a tunic and pants kind of day. As he was getting dressed, he noticed a crow circling at the window sill. As it flew close by, he was relieved to see its eyes were normal not yellow. Just then Ser Donall knocked saying a small contingent from Highever and Redcliffe, led by Bann Teegan and Teryn Cousland. Ser Donall said that Arl Eamon was in a carriage behind them. Alistair thanked him and thought about changing, but heard Emily's voice saying that she preferred the tunic he was wearing now. He went out to meet them at the entrance to the palace, remembering his Templar training so not to yell at Eamon once he saw him. Teegan and Fergus were quite cheery until they saw the glare Alistair was giving Eamon as he stepped out of the carriage. Teegan remembered Alfstanna was there the day prior and evidently revealed Eamon's feelings towards Alistair and more importantly Emily. He looked at Fergus, who seemed to notice the icy glare as well, and wasn't going to like what was said or done to his sister either. Teegan wondered what information he was unaware of, but Stanna knew. As they were about to enter the castle the crow swooped down and dropped the letter in Teegan's hand.

Alistair had his staff take their things to their rooms. He suggested that Teegan and Fergus accompany to his study, while Eamon could go lie down. He wanted to know what was in Teegan's note, and Eamon was not allowed to know it. Alistair told Ser Perth that Eamon was not to be near his study. The three men sat and drank brandy, while Alistair told of his meeting Alfstanna yesterday, and that Eamon tried to convince everyone that Emily killed Isolde, and not the self sacrifice that really happened. Fergus didn't take the newest information well wanting to go after Eamon strangling what life was left in him. It took Alistair and three guards to keep him from doing it. Teegan, being there at Isolde's death knew what happened and squashed any rumors that had to do with Redcliffe Village and Castle, and set it straight that it was Isolde's decision. He now knew why those rumors only started after Eamon was awakened, he started them. Stanna wouldn't make this up as she regarded the Couslands as friends and allies. She was the first to speak out against Howe's lies. To try to calm down his two friends, as Fergus' outburst seemed to make Alistair remember old and new wounds caused by his former guardian. Teegan opened the letter and told the men of the treatment of the Ferelden refugees by Free Marches that most live in slums or on the streets. The mage and Templars there are on the verge of war at any moment. He then got to the part of Emily and her cousin taking in an Antivan noblewoman named Rowan Mac Eanraig, who is six months with child or children. She and Emily bonded as their lives mirrored each other, except for Emily being a GW. Rowan has brought Em back from the darkness that the previous year caused her. Bodhan says she doesn't miss fighting or constantly looking over her shoulder anymore. Em has accepted that Alistair was her one chance at having a love like her parents' had and she doesn't think she can love anyone else for fear of having her heart broken. Leliana said that if a decision isn't made soon in Ferelden and war on the horizon between templars and mages in and I will be forced to get Emily and Rowan out of Kirkwall to safety.

All three men were worried as they had heard news that after the quanari attack, Kirkwall barely survived. Now things were worrisome as the treatment of the Ferelden refugees and mage-templar conflict that was looming. Fergus grabbed the note and studied it more as he knew Rowan was Em's middle name and Mac Eanraig was their mother's family name. He got this hurt and sad look on his face that worried Alistair as Leliana didn't mention what was wrong with Em. Fergus asked Alistair if he was together with his sister six months ago. Teegan apparently was catching on, but Alistair needed prodding. Both men looked at Alistair saying in unison, intimately? Alistair went red in the face, remembering back to the nights at the temple in Haven where neither could get enough of each other. He stated; yes! Fergus got up to leave saying he needed to go to as he needed to get to Kirkwall he wasn't going to lose his sister, niece and or nephew waiting for the first thaw. Both Teegan and Alistair looked stunned at Fergus' words. Teegan spoke saying it was Rowan who was expectant not Emily.

A frustrated Fergus spoke, "Em is Rowan, Rowan is her middle name; Mac Eanraig was our mother's maiden name before she married Father". You were together six months ago. Rowan would be mine, Em's and Siobhan's cousin, which we don't have a female cousin named that and she wasn't acknowledged that way. When she left you said she wanted to start a new life away from Ferelden, everyone would know the Hero of Ferelden is Emily Cousland. Em felt she needed to erase all that was her old life; Ferelden; name; Grey Wardens, memories. She probably didn't even realize she was several months along until after you cast her aside as it hasn't been mentioned until now. That meant she was fighting pregnant the last three months before the Archdemon Both Alistair and Teegan looked at Fergus as he reached for the door, as he spoke before leaving. "Eamon had you turned against her after she united everyone, ended the Blight, and agreeing to put you on the throne. Your reward for her was taking away her happiness, tossing her to more Darkspawn, Howe's supporters, and a place as unwelcoming as Amaranthine. What Howe started, you would've let Eamon finish as I doubt Em would've lasted a week there. Now she's having your child or children, which was one of Eamon's reasons for wanting Emily out of the way, and she's across the ocean."He told Teegan that he didn't blame him for any of this, not really Alistair either. He mostly blamed Eamon, but from the looks of it he's paying for his actions. Now if you don't excuse me, I'm going to write to my seneschal telling him I'll be doing business here, find me a ship, and to keep scouts on the coast as soon as they see the first ice break I'm going to Kirkwall with or without you as I will not have a Cousland born in that Ferelden hating land.


	15. Chapter 12 Part B

Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon Age, just Emily and Siobhan

Chapter 12 Part 2

Alistair watched Fergus leave the room; he asked Teegan why Eamon was here, the younger Guerrin replied that Eamon wanted to apologize to both of you for his actions. Alistair looked at him irately, "the part where he accused Em of murdering Isolde, or his part in breaking us up, suggesting I send her to her death in Amaranthine, or because of all his actions she had to face the majority of the horde and the Archdemon by herself while pregnant with our child, and now is in danger as Kirkwall is on the edge of war at any moment. Fergus had been eavesdropping outside and sat back down. Alistair knew he heard what had been said and continued talking,"I want Eamon restricted to his room while he is here; he isn't to have any knowledge of what we talk about politically or regarding Em. We need to choose who is going with me as I'm absolutely going, and I refuse to leave Eamon in charge, so I advise two of us going while one stays and deals with things here. When we return I will insist that Eamon step down as arl, and Teegan to be made arl officially, as it's my understanding you've gone above and beyond for the people of Redcliffe. There's no one I trust more in that position. Fergus looked at Alistair asking, "you're not making Eamon your advisor as let it be known that I won't do any business with that man, nor will I allow him anywhere near my sister. Alistair replied "No, I would never do that as what I know now; I can never trust him again and won't allow him near my wife or my children as he's caused too much pain and so much time has been lost. Em and I should be together preparing for the arrival of our child, but because I was an idiot and listened to him, she's enduring this on her own, just like the final battle. Something we never thought would happen and the Maker blessed us and I'm missing it all and may never experience it again." Alistair started to cry, which made Fergus cry remembering Oriana and Oren. The two men hugged, Teegan said that the Guerrin ship was theirs, as he would send word to have it sent to Gwaren which is the quickest route to the Free Marches. They could be at sea within a few weeks, and Maker willing Alistair could be with Em during her last few months. Teegan then said he would send word to Leliana and Zevran about their plans, and they would be in Kirkwall within two months. He knew Fergus would hate him for what he was about to say, "Fergus, I think you should stay here and manage things while Alistair and I go, as Emily may not be aware that you're alive and stress won't be good for her or your niece or nephew."Fergus realized that Teegan was right and he would be reunited with his sister soon. The three men sent for more brandy and food to be delivered and began planning for the trip abroad as well as getting Fergus caught up in Ferelden affairs. Alistair sent a servant to get more tunics and pants for his trip. He told them of the advice Alfstanna gave him about being himself when he was saw Em. He needed to be the man Em confided in and fell in love with. He needed to be that Alistair not King Alistair, which from what Alfstanna told him Em hated that nobleman wanted to be with her just because who she was politically and not herself. He knew he would have to regain Draco's trust as he probably knew that Alistair had hurt his mistress deeply, which Draco may not allow Alistair near her. Fergus looked at the sadness in Alistair's eyes and told him that the Bann's advice was good as he was going to suggest the same "as the one thing that always hurt Em was none of the Mother's attempts at matches wanted to talk to her about politics, history, or weaponry. It was always about status with them as being a teryn's daughter meant a higher ranking politically. Now I imagine Alfstanna told you about Draco, if you can convince him your intentions are true, he'll be your biggest ally in reuniting with my sister. Just be yourself, no talking about duty, if she agrees, and knowing my sister and if you're "just Alistair", she'll forgive you."I would even suggest eloping, as truthfully Oriana and I were already wed a month before we were "officially" married. That will prove to her that you want her for your wife, and not because you need a queen and she's carrying your heir. Not to mention when we reunite with our parents in the hereafter, I don't think she'll want to be lectured by our mother for having children out of marriage.

Teegan laughed as he remembered Eleanor loved her children, but was known for long lectures when either of her children did something she didn't approve of. She even made them hours late for dinners at Redcliffe and Highever due to making sure her children knew she was disappointed; Bryce on the other hand had a soft spot for them especially when it came to Emily. Her father was the reason Em wasn't already married by now, as he gave her time to choose who she wanted to marry. Teegan remembered Bryce telling him that he was letting her pick who she wanted, as he didn't want his daughter to lose herself. She was intelligent, open-minded, and could handle a weapon better than most of Highever's guards. He told Teegan it would kill him if she would be forced to conform to the typical nobleman's wife. As most end up in loveless marriages, where their husbands' cheat and the wives either condone it or they drink their lives away to forget. "I want more for Emily; I want someone who sees her as their equal, their best friend, and who loves her and her only completely. I never want the spark to go out of those blue eyes of her."

Teegan smiled remembering his old friend knowing he owed it to Bryce to make sure Alistair was he would want for his pup. Teegan asked the question he knew Bryce would've asked."Alistair, when you think of Emily, do you see her as your equal in all ways or the dutiful noble wife who only is your wife for appearance and manage your household. Alistair didn't get the sudden change in Teegan but _Fergus realized that Teegan was asking what he should've as their father would be asking that of any suitor. She was very passionate about learning, and if she saw something she didn't like she was very vocal about it not caring who she angered. Em also loved her sparring; he wished she had convinced Father to let her go with him then she would've been spared Howe's betrayal. There were rumors in noble circles that Bryce was naming her Teryna over him to increase her marriage potential. The rumor was true as she was being groomed to become the Teryna of Highever, but not for marriage reasons. Their father felt and Fergus agreed that she would be a stronger Teryna as she possessed the same qualities Bryce and Grandfather did, while Fergus preferred the military training to diplomatic meetings._

 _Fergus now wanted to hear Alistair's answer and he owed it to his father to make sure that fire she had was never dimmed by anyone._ Alistair replied that "Emily was, is, and will always be his equal in every way. I won't make a decision without discussing it with her. I think you two can agree that Emily wasn't your typical noble daughter, I would never dare to change her in any way, and I fell in love with her long before I told her. She was the most compassionate, brilliant, funny woman I've ever met. She carried so much on her shoulders, which I regretfully didn't help and never complained. Only way I want her to change is for her to never hide her feelings from me. I want to share every emotion she goes through, if she's in pain I want to comfort and never let her go through anything alone again."Before you ask, as I have a feeling this will come up only woman I will lay with now and in the future is currently in Kirkwall carrying my child."


	16. Chapter 12 Part C

_Chapter 12 Part 3_

 _Disclaimer: So this chapter is now a three parter, and just so you know I don't own DA._

 _Fergus recalled from his talks with Teegan and Alistair up until their trip to Redcliffe and Teegan recognizing her, no one including her companions knew who she really was. She passed herself as an Antivan rogue, who Duncan recruited in Highever. She and Draco typically camped away from everyone keeping to themselves for the first few months. At night though she could be heard crying or seen returning from washing with red marks all over, as if she was trying to scrub something off that wasn't disappearing. Redcliffe changed all that as both wardens' identities were revealed and she was forced to tell who she was and what led her to Ostagar. She even suggested leaving as being with her put their lives in danger. As numerous attempts had been made on her life, as their attackers seemed to mention the female warden more than him. No one mainly her fellow warden would hear of it, as he already developed feelings for her and he wasn't going to allow her to go off alone. Before leaving Redcliffe for the Circle Tower, Alistair admitted his feelings for her and they shared their first kiss. Minus the argument about Isolde, they were inseparable for the next nine months._

 _Alistair thought the reason they targeted her because she was their very outspoken leader, but looking back he realized Howe wanted her dead because she was the sole survivor and knew his crimes. Cailan even wrote in his papers found in the royal chest that if she survived he made Duncan promise that her duty to the Wardens would be over or the wardens would be exiled from Ferelden again. Cailan knew that in the event of his and Fergus' death that each was the heirs to Highever and Ferelden respectively. All the pieces were fitting as Loghain never stationed his men to the Tower of Ishal, as all the men they found near there were Cailan's men. He knew that he and Em were heading to the tower to light the signal, which they battled darkspawn but Em successfully lit only to watch Loghain's army never charge before darkness overtook them both. Cailan fighting on the front lines was an added bonus, as with both Couslands, Eamon and himself out of the way Loghain and Howe would have free reign over Ferelden. The Maker only knew how long those two were in an alliance with one another._

It all made sense now to the three men, Howe used Loghain's hatred and paranoia of Orlais for his reasoning in overtaking Highever and massacring the Couslands and any witnesses. He just didn't count on Emily surviving the attack. Emily was too much of a risk to be kept alive as she knew Howe's part at Highever, and they never heard one's name without the other in the events in Redcliffe, the Circle, Denerim, especially the Alienage. Em would've figured out that Loghain either knew or possibly ordered the attack at Highever. Teegan mentioned that Em actually wanted Howe to stand trial, but Anora's imprisonment changed that in order to free her. "She had to kill him and everyone around him to get to the mage who had magically sealed Anora in a room. Em preferred a trial as she was barely recognized herself anymore, as each death by her hand she was turning into Zev, and that scared her to the point of seeing if she could be made tranquil as with killing and losing you, she wanted to feel nothing anymore." Alistair threw his goblet at the wall after as it sunk in the damage so many including Duncan, Eamon and himself had inflicted on her to where she was willing to feel nothing including the joys of motherhood. Not to mention he was unsure if she went through it the effect it would have on their child. Thanks to Eamon's interference they were already broken up by then and she excluded him from Anora's rescue and everything else. He should've stood up to Eamon that night in Eamon's study, none of the pain she endured those last few months would've happened. He would've made Em stay behind as it was clearly a trap by Loghain, in his paranoid state now saw Howe and Anora as threats. Eamon took advantage as he sent word through Zevran pressuring Emily to rescue Anora at Howe's estate. His hatred grew for his former guardian as Eamon was willing to sacrifice Emily as she could've been killed by Howe, tortured or killed at Fort Drakon. He thanked to the Maker she and the baby escaped unharmed from there as she posed as a guard from what Zev told him.

Teegan noticed the tension in the room from Alistair and brought up the previous conversation before Alistair got silent in his thoughts. Teegan had cleaned out Isolde's study and found several interesting letters, according to healers Isolde no longer could carry children and that she acquired Jowan through Howe and Loghain. Connor apparently showed signs for months and she appealed to Howe and Loghain seeking an apostate to train her son in secret. She feared that Eamon would find out sending Connor to the Circle. Isolde, as you can imagine was worried of being replaced as she was infertile. Loghain sent Jowan to pose as Connor's tutor and so he could poison Eamon. Apparently Loghain had gotten word that Cailan was months away from setting aside Anora for the Orlesian Empress Celene. Apparently Eamon was behind the political marriage between Celene and Cailan, pressuring Cailan to set aside Anora. They would split time between here and Orlais, make Eamon chancellor and in charge while Cailan is Orlais I also found evidence that Isolde wasn't the grieving wife she appeared to be as she wasn't aware originally, but she learned that Loghain had Eamon poisoned. To keep her position and secrets safe, she went along with it.

 _Alistair would forever regret yelling at Emily for Isolde's death as all the reasons she presented then were valid and now with what Teegan said and the evidence proved. Isolde would've been executed for her actions at Redcliffe and conspiring with Loghain and Howe. He remembered their argument and Em saying it was Isolde's choice and as Isolde was dying she prayed to be forgiven for her actions over the last few months. Emily told him it seemed odd as Redcliffe village had only been attacked for two weeks before they arrived. She told him there was no way she was going to kill Connor, as he was an innocent child who was being controlled by a demon who should've had proper training instead of a apprentice mage. He realized now that Isolde's death was the only viable option as Connor didn't need to pay for his mother's actions. At the time the Circle wasn't an option, as it had been annulled as Emily agreed with Greagior and convinced First Enchanter Irving that annulment was necessary as the threat of demons and abominations was too great. She sent Leliana_

 _The templars would've wanted to kill Connor, which knowing Emily anyone who tried to including himself would've have to get through her, and he'd seen her take on eight Darkspawn by herself. She would've fought to her death to save Connor. He remembered one of the reasons he started falling for her was watching Emily around children. His love would go out of her way to talk and comfort them, especially if they didn't have parents. She would even go without her share of the coin by giving it to them or without eating by giving what was in her knapsack. Em always bent down to their level to talk to them in the sweetest voice he ever heard; sometimes she would mess with their hair which would make them laugh. He learned from Fergus that she would make a point of having special auntie time each day or night with Oren, and would always bend to Oren's or the squire's level when talking to them._

 _Teegan watched with amazement the effect Emily had on his two friends, as they both seemed miles away. He continued writing his letter to Leliana or Zevran. Fergus remembered when he was fourteen and Em was ten. He left his longsword out in the training yard, and she had found it. Em tried picking it up, but it slipped from her hands and cut into her leg falling down to the ground. Her scream was heard throughout the castle with everyone running towards her. Their father picked her up with ease carrying to her room. She would be confined to bed for a week while her leg healed and bore a scar, but she was okay. She told her parents she was trying to put the sword away, so Fergus and Rory wouldn't get in trouble. Their parents told the two boys to wait in Fergus' room for them. While they were waiting both Nan and Mother Mallol came in and lectured them. Finally Bryce and Eleanor entered, both were furious. They were grounded for the next three months, and would have additional chores and studies. Bryce also barred either from the training yards until they could prove they were responsible. He remembered he and Rory weren't allowed to train again until Emily's eleventh nameday a year later, when their parents allowed her to start archery lessons._

Fergus asked with all of her duties, if she would allowed to keep up her training, as he knew it was something she enjoyed, Alistair said "of course as that's part of her, I will be her only sparring partner though, unless either of you want to spar against her. Neither of us are no longer in the Order as the deal I made with the First Warden in giving them Soldier's Peak and Amaranthine, she and I were released by our Grey Warden duties." Both were relieved at that statement. Alistair waited for anymore questions, but both seemed pleased with what he said. Teegan spoke" I apologize for questioning your motives and overstepping Fergus, but I owed it to Bryce to make sure you were worthy of his only daughter. He then told them of his talk with Bryce several years ago and what Bryce wanted for her, Alistair now understood as he imagined if it was their daughter, he would be asking the same questions to his daughter's suitors. Alistair asked Teegan impatiently aren't you supposed to be sending a letter before the sun sets. Teegan already had written it while they talked and was waiting for the crow to come to retrieve it. One of Teegan's staff came by telling word had sent to Redcliffe to have the ship ready within two weeks, and he would be notified when it docked in Gwaren.


	17. Author's Note

Author's note:

I apologize for the long delay; I already have the first four chapters rewritten. I just haven't posted them yet. I'm going to try my best and have a few more done by Saturday then post what I've on Sunday. You'll need to read from the beginning, as they're similar to the original ones, but with more words. I hope to be all caught up with new chapters starting next week as long as I don't have any freelance work to do.


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